Grace and the bad days

Yesterday was not a good day. It was a bad day. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (please tell me you caught my children’s book reference). Like, I went to the bathroom during break and cried for a bit, bad. I was tired, I had a headache and I kept making stupid mistakes in class, bad day.

Some days are great. I can follow conversations with not as much struggle. I can even contribute a few thoughts and sentences. It feels good. I feel good. Confident, almost. I can do this.

Other days, I am exhausted. My head hurts from concentrating so hard on the funny sounding words that keep flowing effortlessly from these people’s mouths. Why do they make it seem so easy? Why is it such a struggle for me to make sense of these sentences? Why is it even harder for me to put together coherent sentences in this language?

Before we came to Spain, almost 2 months ago now, everyone kept saying “Oh it will be so easy!” “You’ll be speaking Spanish in no time!” or the worst, “You already speak Spanish, right?!”

Lies. LIES I TELL YOU!

This is hard. Some days it’s down-right exhausting.

But, each day God teaches me a little more about grace. The grace He has towards me. The grace He has towards others. And the grace I need to show myself.

I have realized exactly why I quit just about every sport, instrument and extracurricular activity I started. I have come to accept my perfectionist tendencies. I hate, hate to be corrected. It’s awful, I cringe inside every time our (wonderful, kind and patient) teacher corrects me. Even over simple things.

But everyday God reminds me that I am learning this language just like everyone else has learned a language. Success and utter failure. Stupid, silly mistake after stupid, silly mistake.  And as much as it pains me to struggle along, it will get better. The words will come more easily with time, practice and grace. Lots and lots of grace.

His grace is sufficient for you. His grace is sufficient for me.

Considering Success 2014

The year 2013 was clearly a year of change and tremendous success. It was a year packed with change. We graduated, we raised support, we drove thousands of miles and finally flew across the ocean to a place we are now calling home.  It seems crazy to think it has already been a year but at the same time it has ONLY been a year. The past twelve month flew by and were packed to the brim. As I look back on the last year, I can see how God was present with us throughout it all.

I very much believe that we arrived in Spain at the perfect time. Satan worked to keep us from getting here (VISA issues, I’m looking at you) and he has worked to discourage and distract us ever since we arrived, but we are looking ahead. We are encouraged because God’s provision has brought us here and His purpose will keep us here.  

So,what will make 2014 a success? Many things come to mind when I think on this question. But God reminds me that He defines success differently. Often times we define success in numbers and achievements. I believe God defines success by purity of intention.

I don’t believe it’s the numbers that please God. I don’t believe it’s the fancy programs or advertising. I don’t believe it’s the method or resource guides that bring glory to God. I believe it is the reasons for which we employ the methods and the means by which we achieve the numbers.

Why has God brought us to this country? What is our purpose here? What will our ministry look like? What milestones will define our success in this ministry?

In short, God has brought us here to be light in a place. Our purpose is to bring Him glory and be evidence of grace to the people we encounter. Our ministry will be simple. Live in the Gospel truth as revealed to us and love people as Jesus loved us. Each person with whom we share Jesus with will serve as marker in our ministry journey.

Simple goals for 2014-

*Spanish- To understand and be understood. Fluency will come with time (a LOT of time) but my goal for this year is to communicate comfortably.

*Live intentionally. Be intentional in meeting people and building relationships. This started with our team and now to our community.

Pray with us as we discover how God will lead us this year.