Instead, here we are.

Tomorrow should have marked our first week in Spain.

I have wanted to write about the past few weeks for well, the past few weeks. It started with wanting to share about our last few days here, with family and friends. I wanted to talk about our commissioning service. I wanted to talk about being a little nervous but mostly excited for this big move.

But instead, here we are- at home- in North Carolina.

The truth is, I knew for weeks that we were not leaving on November 5^th. It never seemed real because we didn’t have our VISAs. I knew without them, we couldn’t leave. So, driving to D.C. Monday morning, I wasn’t worried about getting home to get packed or saying final goodbyes. I knew that we were not leaving the next day. Still, when the man at the desk said that our VISAs had not yet been approved, my heart dropped. I cried all the way to the post office several blocks away. We turned over our passports and an overnight shipping envelope and headed out of D.C. almost as quickly as we arrived.

As frustrating as the situation is, it isn’t the situation that has me most upset. What is most frustrating is that I don’t really want to talk about it. I don’t mean to be rude, I promise, but it IS frustrating. Even though I had that gut feeling, I was still day dreaming about seeing Spain again, but this time as our new home. But, now we are waiting in anticipation for an email to appear in our inboxes one morning with the much desired news. And really, the anticipation kills me sometimes.

But then there are times when I hear the most simple and encouraging words. The seventh grader who says he is praying for us. The friend who says that while she is praying for the process, she is glad that we will be around for a few more weeks. Or the one who says nothing but just hugs the life out of me.

In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a huge deal. We don’t have a pressing deadline to be in Spain. We have somewhere to stay and money in our accounts. It isn’t as if our applications have been denied- they just haven’t been reached yet. We are still in the one to three month time frame so I’m really not too anxious.

I want to be in Spain. I want to meet the rest of our team. I want to find our place in the team. I want to be in language school so we can communicate with the people around us. I want to be where the Lord has led us.

But, here we are. Still waiting and all is well. The Lord is still good. He is still faithful. He still hears our prayers and knows our hearts. We know His timing is just right. We know His intentions for us are good. We know He has spoken to our hearts and His word will not return void.

We know these things and in faith we are living in His truth. He has led us this far and He will not leave us. Right now, I believe, wholeheartedly, that He is growing our patience. This inconvenience is minor in comparison to the suffering in places around the world. But, it breaks my heart to not be in Spain.

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:4

I know that as I wait at the feet of our Father, the Holy Spirit will give a new confidence in in this time.