The thing I am not thinking about...

In less than two weeks Jeremy and I will celebrate our third wedding anniversary. Today as I look forward to entering our fourth year of marriage, I really have no idea what it will look like. Many thoughts come to mind, but they are all sort of jumbled together and nothing seems very clear. Except for one thing.

May also marks our sixth month of living in Spain- half of a year. This time last year we were planning for graduation, leaving jobs and heading to Indiana for cross-training. Now, we don't have many specific goals or deadlines pressing. Well, except for getting a valid drivers license in June/July- no biggie. We have residency, we have a car (mostly functioning), we have an apartment and we're working on the whole language thing. 

I have realized something, for the last 7 or so years of my life, I have always been looking forward to something. Something that seemed better or more significant than I had on any given day. An accomplishment, a goal, something ¨bigger.¨ Now, finally, I am living in today.

Jim Elliot, a man who many Christians and missionaries admire, said this-

“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” This quote has stuck with me for years, but not until now have I really taken it to heart. (If you get the chance, read the book ¨Shadow of the Almighty¨)

CS Lewis said, “To walk out of His will is to walk into nowhere.” I fully believe that Jeremy and I are living in the will of God in Spain. And with that said, I can answer the question that many have asked.

As I look into our fourth year of marriage, I do not see us leaving Spain. We are making Spain our home for as long as we can. I mean goodness, I have packed up all my things and moved them 7 times over the last three years- I just don't want to move again!

But really, I believe by this time next year, we will still only be crossing the starting line. There is still much work to be done- I do not believe that God called us here only for two years or even only four years.

I know, I know, you're thinking ¨Sweetie, none of us know what the Lord has planned.¨ And you are right. I don't and neither do you. Right now, I am happy finally embracing a day to day mentality when it comes to my life planning. So here I am, enjoying my new home, and blissfully NOT planning my next pack-up-and-move-everything event.

Worship=Missions=Worship

Missions exist because worship doesn't.

-John Piper

I read this quote in a class last year and it has stuck with me ever since then. I have even gone back to read that article several times since the class has ended. I have marked and highlighted something in nearly every paragraph. The gist of the article is this: God is ultimate, we are not. Piper says that worship is the goal and fuel of missions. I find this to be resoundingly true. We do missions because of the passion we find when we worship, thus it is the fuel. Because of the passion we have for God we desire that others may experience the same, thus worship is the goal. 

When we do not have a passion for God, we do not have a passion to go out into the mission field. When we do not have a passion for the salvation we have received we do not have passion to see others saved. We have this passion only when we spend time in worship, reflecting on the beauty of God. Our time in worship fuels our excitement for missions. 

A "good" missionary isn't a "good" missionary just because of their methodology or the ministries they lead. No, a missionary can have the best plans and ideas for ministry but without God's heart for the lost their work will be in vain. When compassion for the lost is lacking, it is likely that our worship is lacking. Missionaries must share the passion that God has for those who are lost. The more we worship, the more we  grow in appreciation for our salvation and desire for others to be saved.

I gravitate to the Psalms when I am not sure how to worship. When I don't know how to pray, I find that some of the best prayers are already written for me...

 ^"May the peoples praise you, O God;

    may all the peoples praise you.May the nations be glad and sing for joy,    for you rule the peoples justly    and guide the nations of the earth. May the peoples praise you, O God;    may all the peoples praise you."
-Psalms 67:3-5

"Sing to the Lord a new song;

    sing to the Lord, all the earth.
Sing to the Lord, praise his name;    
proclaim his salvation day after day.
 Declare his glory among the nations,
    his marvelous deeds among all peoples"

-Psalms 96:1-3

Be all here.

Jim Elliot said, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." Now for those of you who may not know, Jim Elliot, a missionary to Ecuador who gave his life for the cause of Christ. A quote maybe less well known, yet has always been close to my heart is this, "Wherever you are, be all there." Jim Elliot was "all there." He knew the work that he was called to do and he did it (along with the four others) to the point of giving his life.

Earlier tonight in class, I felt a prayer answered. I have been praying and desiring for God to reveal His will for me more clearly. My answer came when I mentioned this quote that has been with me for so long. The answer wasn't a clear cut path for my next step or a new, crisp, revised and updated road map for life. No, simply the peace of knowing that I am where I am and I am where I need to be so, I need to be all here.

So many people, especially at the stage I am in my life are asking the question about their future and the plan that God has in store for them. But if they are like me, they don't know very many details of that plan. I am coming to learn and accept that it really is okay! I am where I am and I am where I should be. C.S. Lewis says, "To walk out of His will is to walk into nowhere." But I think, even more than that, to walk out of His will, even into something "good" would be walking into sin. Not because what I might do is inherently "bad" but because I could be disregarding what God has placed me here to do.

James 4:13-17 says, "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins."

Who am I to plan out my future? Who am I to plan even tomorrow? My life is nothing. My will is nothing. All I know is what and where I am at this very moment. If I am so focused on what the future may hold I will not see all the good I can do right where I am (verse 17).

So, what good can you do right where you are? How can you be all there?